Oh! What a Ride! The End

The last few weeks flew by. Daily, the kids continued to amaze me. They truly were a bright class and kept me on my toes! I couldn't let my guard down for a moment with them, which was probably my saving grace through this whole episode. I got the classroom ready to go for Cindy. The kids asked daily if I really had to leave. It was tough for me. I do have a horrid habit of getting too attached to my students. This group was going to be tough to leave.

Laura flew into Philadelphia Airport and I picked her up after school. She enjoyed her free time with her "sometimes" friends in NJ. They spent a few days together. They enjoyed hitting some of their old haunts, seeing friends, and visiting Notre Dame. They promised, again, to come see her in Ohio. We all know they will never keep that promise.

Athena Toto called one evening and asked if I could have lunch with her before I left. Well time was running out. I never, ever go out to lunch when I am teaching. Always something to do. Always! Especially during lunchtime. But I made an exception to see my sweet friend even though my morning had been hectic. My time was growing shorter and shorter and the kids were acting more...wired lately. So I enjoyed sharing pictures and stories with the sweet Athena at her family's diner around the block from the school, then I had to rush back. When I got there, I ran, literally, to the playground. The 5th grade wasn't there! Crap! I was late.... I hate to be late! The kids were in the classroom. I could barely hear them....I was worried they were into something they shouldn't be.... then a parent of one of the kids pulled me aside in the hallway to discuss her daughter asking me about her math skills. Really? Now you want to discuss it with me? Ok well, let's get closer to the classroom door....when I did, I couldn't see the kids though I could hear them talking low... I cautiously walked up the long entryway to the room...When I peeked inside, there was my classroom decorated for a party, the kids and their parents yelled, "SURPRISE!" and I must say, It was truly a surprise! I burst into tears! It touched my soul that my being there even mattered.

That Friday, I went to Mary's annual Christmas Ornament exchange. Laura accompanied me. It was, unbelievably, the first time she had ever seen me with my friends at GNR in a social mode. She was amazed that we were all happy, laughing, and so much alike, or so she said on the way home. It was amazing to me to see the whole scene through her perspective. Funny how your own kids don't see you as anything more than a parent until they get older. The next morning we were scheduled to drive to Boston for the last time while I was on the East Coast. We woke up to the forecasted blizzard, making the last trip impossible. I was very upset but there was nothing that could be done about it. I shoveled the driveway for Aunt Bea, or at least the parking spaces and the lower part. Then the plow showed up with GNRs own Richie Seip as the co-pilot. He exclaimed, "Mrs. Koch!!!! What are you doing here?" It warmed my heart to think that he even remembered me when he was never one of my own students! We nestled in for the weekend, watching movies, playing on the computer, napping. I went through my stuff - repacked the gifts for Christmas going home to Ohio and wrapped the ones I had to delivered before I left. Bitter sweet...

The next morning, when I was driving through Hightstown to school, I realized it was the last full day I would ever drive to GNR. I was getting all misty-eyed and started talking strongly to myself about being stupidly emotional. How could I feel otherwise. I left 3 years ago and they opened their arms, welcomed me back, treated me like family and were doing everything in their power to help me find something else locally so I could stay. I had just pulled myself together when I walked into the building when I heard laughing voices coming from the staff room. I was going in to put my lunchbox in the frig so thought "Oh this will be good. A good joke will certainly help me get over this funk!" I nearly fell over when I opened the door and realized it was the entire staff with a breakfast laid out for me as a going away party. Complete with Buckeyes! I burst into tears. There is, may I say it again, nothing like this school and its staff. We took pictures, had some laughs and shared some tears, eventually going to our classrooms. I was deeply, deeply touched by their kindness, support, generosity and love.

Regretfully, the last day came. I don't know why I was surprised.... it was inevitable...somehow, I think, deep in the recesses of my mind, I believed that the teacher would change her mind at the last minute and not show up for work. But that she came, observed. I packed my stuff into my car and pulled out of the parking lot of the Grace Norton Rogers School for the last time.

I met Bobby at the Vince Lombardi Rest Stop at the top of the Turnpike, the same one we had been meeting at for years as the kids grew up. We had coffee, talked for a few hours, exchanged Christmas gifts like some kind of drug deal in the parking lot. I cried half way back to Cranbury, sure that we wouldn't see each other again for a long time. On the way back, we stopped at the Elghossain's. I hadn't been able to connect with them the whole time I was in NJ. Natalie and Laura picked up where they left off. The boys were men. Her parents, Tony and Nina, were gracious for letting us arrive after 10. The adults also caught up on the past few years. We didn't stay too long as Tony had been ill. We enjoyed seeing all of them. Laura was miserable leaving. I think everything finally caught up with her - socializing with her friends from ND, seeing Natalie, being exhausted, and the long drive ahead,she was struggling between being sad leaving, happy to see them, and happy to be back to Ohio.

The next morning, I was off early to the PO in Hightstown to mail the huge boxes to Boston. I packed the car, which, frankly, looked like a gypsy caravan. There wasn't a spare inch of space. Stuff was packed ceiling to floor, in crevices under the seats, trunk and all! We cleaned the apt., said good-bye to Aunt Bea and started on our way. It was Christmas Eve. It certainly didn't feel like it. I felt like I had just lost a portion of myself. I know I left a HUGE piece of my heart with that class, not to mention my friends and "family" at GNR and Cranbury Manor. How could I have done this without them! They listened, extended their homes and their hearts, comforted, fed, sheltered and included me in everything they did for the 5 months I was in NJ. I could lean, cry, laugh, share a drink or a meal, or just talk whenever I saw them, never feeling like I was a bother. I cannot ever thank each and everyone enough for this. I would never have been able to make it through this portion of my ride without them.

The eight and a half hour drive on icy, snowy roads through PA kept my mind off what we had left behind. Let me just say that Christmas Eve is NOT the time to be driving home with a heart torn to bits. Seeing families obviously going to be reunited with their loved ones, with gaily wrapped gifts, laughing as they drive along the PA Turnpike made me realize that though I loved being in NJ for so many reasons, my family was waiting for me at home in Ohio. We had weathered this ride together and that is really what mattered. Life was going to be better from here on out! We made it!!! A bit worn along the edges, but essentially whole. Not sure I would ever want to do it again, but you know what they say....what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger! I think, after a week of sleeping in my own bed, surrounded by those I love, I will, again, be able to take on the world, one day at a time!

I know that you are where you are for a reason. I was so thrilled to be able to be close to Brian and his family during this time, so grateful to Robert for hiring me as the maternity replacement, so thankful that I had friends, "family", and students that helped get me through this time. I felt like the whole world had dropped out from under me. I don't remember ever feeling more exposed to the world as I was from August to December. Hoping that 2010, The 21st Century in double digits, is a better year for all of us!

May I say that I wish you all a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous New Year!